After being in a relationship for half of my life (with the same person) I find that there are certain things about relationships, cohabiting and marriage that can you leave you utterly annoyed with your partner. Just to be clear, that doesn’t mean you love them any less, just that you need a vent a bit.
As your solemnly sworn girlfriend + fairy blogmother, I am here for it.
After all, you can love your partner without liking them all the time.
We surveyed nearly 500 women and here are the things that kept popping up. It’s nice to share the most common complaints because at least there’s misery in company.
Note: these are all meant to be lighthearted and anonymous submissions. We at Hey Simply always believe that a woman should be an equal partner in the home and should demand and deliver respect, compassion, kindness and support in her relationships.
Most Common Things Women Complain About
Overall, there was a theme of procrastination, being messy and laziness in a lot of the comments that our team got, which is totally fair. I think being a lazy couch potato is a bit inevitable from time to time, but if you’re finding yourself in this situation often it may be time for a chat with your roommate.
- His lack of understanding of my need for structure and cleanliness.
- Lack of perception on household chores that need to be done.
- Only wanting to clean up when he has a large chunk of time so things stay messy for much longer than needed
- His procrastination. But this is a compromise situation. I’m a must do it now but this also isn’t always the right attitude so it’s give and take.
I love that the last reader acknowledged that this is a situation where compromise is best. People have sparks of energy and the urge to tidy up at different times. It’s best to not force your partner to match your schedule for when things need to get done. If you want to be an adult in your relationship then you need to treat your partner like one.
If you’d like to clean up the kitchen together, let them know that you’re going to put the dirty dishes in the sink and wipe down the counters. Ask if they can put the dishes in the dishwasher (& start it!) before they head to bed.
Do not just do it yourself. You will be setting yourself up for a lifetime of complacent and you will start to resent it.
You shouldn’t expect anyone to know what you’re thinking so it’s best to be vocal, kind, and patient. Let your partner know what you need from them without forcing them to do it. It’s a delicate balance to find your rhythm but if you’re in this for the long haul it’s best to figure out your routine sooner rather than later.
Green Flag Complaints that Women Have
You’re probably just being picky or I asked the question on the wrong (or right?!) day. Either way, your confessionals are safe here. These are the little things that bother you about your partner that are kinda endearing in an annoying kinda way.
- How his pants always hang over his ankles. Like why?! Just tailor them! Thanks!
- Total dominance over the TV
- He forgets to put his phone on silent and leaves it under his pillow so every notification drives me nuts 😜 [been there sister! Sahir put his group chats on DND after a few death stares]
- His refusal to buy new undershirts
- When he makes me google lyrics to songs I don’t give a f*ck about
- We can’t watch a movie together because he falls asleep within the first 20 minutes!
- He snoozes way too many times in the mornings and it always wakes me up earlier than I need to get up.
- When he shaves, he can’t fully clean every inch of hair around the sink
- Doesn’t cook! But he does always order out! Gotta take the wins where you can
- He eats too fast; literally inhales his food, pees around the toilet seat sometimes, takes forever to lotion himself in the morning
Yellow Flag Complaints that Women Have
For every green flag, there’s got to be a yellow flag. Some of these are totally harmless and some made me think that you may need to have a chat if stuff like this is really bothering you. Things like “He hates to gossip” probably mean that you need a catty BFF who you can discuss the Real Housewives drama with in a judgement-free zone. Things like “He doesn’t understand when I need alone time” or “He’s bad at financial planning and budgeting” make me a little more cautious.
- He sleeps in late all the time. He doesn’t do anything in the mornings. And I always have to remind him to do important stuff.
- He’s always on all his devices! He’ll be on his phone and laptop while watching tv. Give your eyes a break!
- He is very stuck in his ways which sometimes contradicts his need to be efficient in all things. It’s comical to watch at times.
- This is weird… I get a lot of “I love you”s throughout the day but I’m more of an act of service person. Action mean more than words. He’s the opposite.
- Doesn’t make himself a priority anymore, like working out when he really wants to.
- Lack of discipline / commitment / organizing
Here’s the thing about LTR / Marriage. You’ve basically decided that this person is cool enough to do life with. Are you going to agree on everything? No way. But you’re making a commitment to be a team and make a life for yourselves together. Inevitably, you are two different people who demand different things out of life to be happy and fulfilled. Maybe that means different levels of involvement from friends, family or spouses. Or maybe it means that you need more alone time.
Either way, communication is key here (sorry, lame I know – but it’s true!) If your man is always on his devices, try to share how it makes you feel and ask if you have a window of device-free time. Maybe it’s while you eat dinner or a half hour before bed. The best solution is one that works for both of you.
Once you get serious, this is also a great time to figure out and discuss your love languages. It’s a pretty simple thing that can help you communicate better and show love as a couple. As much as it’s important to know your own, it’s more important to know your partner’s love language. You can read my entire post on Love Languages here.
Red Flag Complaints that Women Have
I thought about 10 times about what to call this section and finally decided on calling them red flags. Whether you are investing time into a friendship or a romantic relationship, you should feel supported, safe, and loved in your conversations. If that’s not happening, this just may not be the right fit for you.
- I wish he was more expressive. I wear my heart on my sleeve, he’s much more mysterious.
- How he puts his life in metaphorical boxes, and it seems like I get the smallest one
- He never wants to fight back always agrees with me lol even if he’s right he’ll just say I know I’m right but whatever makes you feel better and he’ll let me go on and on
- Feels like he only notes when I do something wrong once instead of the 19 times I did it right (like forgetting to turn the lights out in a room 1 time a week) I’m sure this isn’t true but it’s how it feels
- Sometimes difficult for him to see past his own view on something
- He doesn’t listen to the details when I talk to him.
Concerns that “He’s judgmental,” “He thinks he is always right,” or “He debates everything,” make me a little more hesitant. While nothing is perfect 100% of the time, if you’re feeling this way 80% of the time – I think it may be time to talk to a trusted friend or family member about this relationship.
Final thoughts on Women Dish on What Annoys Them about Their Husbands
All of this is in good fun, so don’t take it too seriously fam. We’re all just so hungry for girl talk and I love to serve when you love to dish. At it’s core, relationships are about trust and respect. No one will ever do exactly what you want 100% of the time, but that’s because they are their own individual person. Their thoughts, experiences, and interactions have made them who they are and you should respect that too. After all, it’s why you fell in love with them to begin with right?