Whether it’s a summer fling turned serious or a long time coming, living together with your partner can be a whirlwind of emotions. Maybe you’re thrilled to be saving on rent or just moving out from the rents – either way, it’s exciting! Sleepovers with your best friend, Fast & Furious movie marathons, and milk and cookies for dessert. In fact, even the tedious things seem like they could be fun: cooking new meals together, you wash & I’ll rinse dish duty, hell – let’s take out the trash together!
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I could go on and on about the perks of living with your partner, but let me give you the scoop on what you may not be prepared for.
Monica had it right, living with a boy is hard work. Could be that you are the messy one – but more often than not – you will be surprised by the number of times a sock ends up on the floor *next to* the laundry hamper. It’s miraculous. Since I don’t want to air our dirty laundry (pun very much intended) – here’s are three things that you may not be ready for:
Let’s review the facts: up until now, your date nights consisted of watching the same movie, tv show, or Netflix comedy special. When it was time to go home, you said goodbye and it’s back to regularly scheduled programming for both of you. In our case, Gossip Girl for me & an endless stream of ESPN for him. The first few weeks you will probably compromise and just watch reruns of How I Met Your Mother or The Office and maybe you’ll even start a show together! But the dust will settle, and you’ll eventually want to get your #TeamChuck on while he will… still just want to listen to people talk about sports. Oh, the joys of living together!
42 QUESTIONS TO ASK YOUR PARTNER!
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You may be a morning person and your partner could be a person of the night, but one of the biggest things you will learn to compromise on when to do things: the fun things & the chores. Sahir and I have been living together for four years and we still have different ideas of what weekends are for. For him, we work hard during the week so let’s go out! Let’s enjoy time with our friends or catch a movie. To me, the weekends are for getting ahead during the week: meal planning, cleaning up the home, running errands, etc. Who’s right? Well, probably both of us… in moderation. Discuss your schedules and your expectations of living together in advance and be flexible! Remember – you are not each other’s moms. People feel inspired to do work at different times and as long as you are both contributing, it doesn’t need to be at the same time.
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About a decade ago, a very smart woman invented the concept of a “man cave” as a place to collect all of the random sports paraphernalia, little league trophies, and expensive player jerseys. If you aren’t able to designate a “man cave” in your home when you are living together- you will likely end up with a bobblehead on the bookshelf and a free car flag over your dining table.
The blending of two people also means the blending of their useless junk. While he can see no possible reason why you need THREE curling irons (uh, one is a wand and the other is a smaller barrel – duh) you won’t understand why he needs to collect the XXXL tshirt that was on the seat at the basketball game and was free for a reason.
Compromise can come in many forms here. For example, Sahir’s “man cave” is in this office at work. (Insert winky smile here).
The first six months are essential to finding your vibe as a couple. I remember the first week that Sahir and I moved in together, I went to my monthly book club and I literally asked him if he wanted to come with – because what would he possibly do alone? Be patient while you find your groove with one another because when you finally don’t have to say “I’ve got to go home” at the end of your dates, it’s something really special.